　おいしい！

Thursday, May 31, 2007

Had the most horrible of days since I'm here in France. You would think by having such a bad day, people would cut me some slack and let me breathe. No! I have become such a pushover, a carpet, a dirty used rag that others use to stamp all over me! I am going crazy! I am having panic attacks!!

The phone did ring! But why? Why the heavens did I screw it up? It's this phonecall for the course that I want to take but I did not expect the call at all. Not at all! I have a dreadful morning! Oh I want is to beat the hell out of a sandbag though I know my fist will just swell into the size of a rice dumpling! Why did she had to bloody call me when I'm so agitated and pissed! Perhaps my french is not there yet! Perhaps it will never be there!

The conversation went as follows:

Lady: Hello, may I speak to Madame Wadoux please?

Me: (I never know if it is a telemarketeer or whoever it may be? Plus it doesn't help that there are two Madame Wadouxs in this household and usually I'm not the one they are looking for! Why the hell must the call come through via my residential phone? All business related calls should go to my handphone so I will be prepared! Why? Why? Why?!) Yes, speaking.

Lady: Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah formation blah blah blah.....

Me: (What the f**k!! I didn't catch a single thing beside the fact that she must be the lady that I corresponded with with regards to the course I wanted to take in September)Sorry, I don't understand. (I am too agitated, too lost, too shocked to remember to ask her to repeat herself, which I will kick myself for later. You will see)

Lady:(Surprised tone) Oh you don't speak much French do you?

Me: Yeah. (Kicking myself from every angle! Why the hell did I say that?)

Lady: Okay, bye then! (She hanged up)

Then came the ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Oh no!!!! What have I done? Oh no Oh no Oh no!!!!!!!!

I didn't think when I speak. I was too angry with what happened this morning. I was too angry with France. I was too angry with certain French. Do I honestly think she'd switch to English when I said I don't understand? I was and am a bloody fool!

Flashback to this morning.

I took the scooter and travelled half an hour as per normal to my driving lesson. There at the doorstep was another girl. Lady boss was whispering conspiratorily with her as words like "we'll have to ask her about it, don't we?" came into earshot.

Lady boss: (Plastered on her sweetest smile) Hey, (Almost affectionately) this girl here is going to pass her driving exam later. She would like to drive a bit for practice. Would you mind letting her have your slot?

Me: (Yes I mind! I f**king mind! Why does this happen to me EVERYTIME? Someone is always either passing their practical exams or practising for their practical exam during my slot? Why why why why why? Where is the professionalism? Where is the good organisation? ASSHOLEs! BITCHES!) Okay.. (Coward, Carpet, Pushover!! I AM SO CANNOT MAKE IT THAT I HATE MYSELF SOMETIMES!)

Lady boss: Quick say thank you to her! She's so nice! (To me)You can practise your code in the meantime in the other room. (To her) You will drive until 11 ok?

Naive me thought that I will be able to drive at least for half an hour from 11-11.30 so just resignedly went into the theory room. This is my last hour of practice and that bitch didn't even let me take the full test practice. She took a lesson dvd and make me work on it with only 10 questions at the end of it! This is totally cheating my money! I am not a moron! For my last theory lesson, I don't even get a full test practise! I have to give up my test for other sad puppy eyes looking girl to practise an hour before her exam. F**k! Am I really such a pushover???

Sad puppy eyes looking girl: Oh thank you! THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!

I smiled weakly!

Truth to be told, I hope she'd fail. Come on. Who the hell marched in unannounced on other people's slots and teii3(sweet talk) their way through to a last minute practice session. It's a conspiracy! True, I could have said no. I could have been assertive. But I know the lady boss will give me shit during my one hour of driving. I am so sick tired of these racist bitches. She seems nice to everyone except me. What sets me apart from the others is my race and nationality. If she has a problem with that, she is just a white racist creep, which she is! Why am I always being taken advantaged of? Why am I struggling? Is it because I am lazy? Is it because I am underachieving? WHy why why?

I really wanted to watch Pirates of the Caribbean. But why did I force myself to go to sleep in the cinema last night? Why did I force my eyes to close when I was not sleepy? The truth is this! I'M SICK AND TIRED OF HEARING HOLLYWOOD MOVIES IN FRENCH! LISTENING TO CHOW YUN FATT SPEAKING IN ENGLISH IS BAD ENOUGH! Can you imagine how excruciatingly it is to listen to it in French? Plus it is a difficult enough to follow show in English, how can I follow in French? Watching movies is supposed to be a form of relaxation, not a French lesson! I am going to puke! Plus L'Aiglon is the worst cinema in the entire world where the guy working there switched off the film before we could see the scene after the credits! Imbecile! Help! I am so sick sick sick sick sick sick sick sick sick sick sick sick SICK of it all here! Sick of getting rejections in my face! Sick of getting people hanging up on me just because I couldn't catch their French fast enough and they couldn't speak English! Come on! English is even more spoken than French! Why am I subjecting myself to all these! Screw them all LOSERS!

Labels: bitches

1:39 pm　うまい！Y